Hello everyone! What a nice surprise to log on and see all the comments left for me! You all have no idea how much strength that gives me, knowing people care enough to check out the blog, sometimes leave messages, and even "chew me out" when I don't post on here often enough!! So the big news of the day today is that I almost feel like getting back to work, but I can't until I get permission from my doctor...go figure!! I'm working on getting permission, and don't plan to overdo it, but I definitely need something to distract me from cancer all the time. So, hopefully I will get a chance to get back to work by the end of this week--that's the plan, anyway!

I also stood in line at the Social Security office today--just so I could make an appointment to come back in three weeks to spend a glorious 2-3 hours there, defending why I need to be placed on disability. The good news is, assuming I will qualify for disability (which I should since I'm going into a transplant), I can continue to work with the doc's permission and as long as I feel up to it. I just can't make over $900 in a month--which should allow me to work pretty much all the hours I want since I am a counselor!!!! (That's a joke, people!!) Seriously, though, having the ability to get out of the house and do "normal" stuff until I actually get to the transplant part (probably in early to mid-September) will go a long way in helping me get through all of this.

It just dawned on me that I have definitely made this blog all about me. This whole experience, cancer, has definitely NOT been all about me. I've had the easy part. I have an enemy to fight and weapons in my arsenol. My family and friends, who have to stand by, helpless, have the truly hard part. It can't be easy trying to figure out how to help someone who is sick....does she want to eat, sleep, be left alone, talk about the cancer, talk about ANYTHING else??!! I wish I knew how to answer that question for anyone asking it. The truth is--it changes from minute to minute. What feels like a ravenous appetite one minute is complete nausea the next. Feeling full of energy is absolute and complete exhaustion the next. What I can tell you all, is that I love every one you. Thank you for asking. Thank you for taking the risk of my rejection. Thank you. And please don't stop asking. Even if I turn your offer down, please know that your well-wishes get stored in my chemobrain, so I can rely on your caring when I feel I am too tired to do all of this. I WILL beat this, and the love, caring, well-wishes, thoughts, prayers, and offers for help, is what gives me the confidence I need to do it. Love to all!!